A tiny little up date.

I survived returning to work. Fatigue kicked the sh*t out of  me in the first week, my heart made a bit of a protest by giving me a few days of palpitation and pain. But after a good chat and reflection with my big sis it was clear I had been a bit cocky and tried to do too much in those first days. I hadn’t thought it through.  I would be doing more and be more active than I had been for the past few months.  I would  need extra food, water and I definitely would need strategies to help me be at my best. I thought I am not teaching it will be easy,  Wrong!  I would be  up and active for more hours on work days, I hadn’t thought of what I would do if my palpitations and chest pain played up.

Before I was off work for my hip operation I was an expert at hiding any of my pain and discomfort whist at work. So I was surprised how difficult it was to do that after being out of practise for six months. I had purposely gone back to work whilst there wasn’t any students, so I could acclimatize myself and because of this I am so glad I did. Now I know I have to come up with plans for September, to ensure I will have less problems to face or make them more manageable when I am back teaching at the start of term and new academic year. Which after all the difficulties, the ups and downs of the last seven months I am actually really looking forward to.

I haven’t managed to complete The Breatheworks “Mindfulness for health programme” in 8 weeks but I have stuck to it.  I have just extended the weeks where I felt I needed more time or focus. I am nearly at the end now and feel that it has been a great starting point of practising daily mediation. It has also taught me the benefit of a positive morning routine and the impact it has on my whole day. I just hope I can keep it up when the winter comes knocking and I have to get out the warmth of my bed and do it and physio when it is still dark.

I have had my latest hip review and things are going along slowly but surely. I was told  that I shouldn’t judge the outcome of my operation until at least twelve months has passed ( only after the surgery ). So I am just over half way there now. Fingers crossed with continued physio, I am already able to see how far I have come in that time, so I am really positive and hopeful of how good things could be at 12 months point.

At the moment it seems for me to have the best outcome from the surgery it will require long-term discipline and doing daily physio. It feels like everything at the moment is pointing me in the direction of needing a disciplined approach to my health and well-being. It’s quite strange really  previously the word discipline had always filled me with dread, and negativity, something that you have to endure not enjoy. Where as now it feels like something really positive, something exciting, like the start of a new happier chapter. This mindset has had the opportunity to grow over time. Whilst I have introduced new positive elements to my daily routine step by step, instead of bombarding myself with too much too soon and setting myself up to fail something I have done in the past and I am sure most people have done one new year or another. I will be honest though I do have that little negative voice in my head that is mocking me. Saying I won’t be able to keep it up and it won’t be long before I will have let all this good slip and I will become a big failure of my own will power, again. But we all have elements of self-doubt, sometimes you have to just ignore that voice, work hard at proving that part of yourself wrong and when you do, the achievement is all the more sweeter.

Now for a little holiday in the sunshine of Majorca before getting back to the real hard that comes with the start of every new academic year.




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