So in my last post I talked about starting to build my artist website and take some practical steps towards an art life. Should of known better and not tempted fate. As if by response to saying the words out loud, my body has been playing havoc with me. I won’t bore you with the details beyond the fact that it’s been difficult to know which illness has been the culprit. Whether it’s side effects to medicine blame or something completely new and unidentified joining my pain party.
But as living with chronic illness often means days have been lost treading water and just trying to keep a float. When taking a normal shit and eating something other than porridge and prunes has seemed like an achievement. And energy can only be muster for the 14 hours of the day job and pretending I fine for the social occasion that I have looked forward to for months.
So the progress on my website has slowed to a standstill, and not paint has made it from brush to canvas but rather than an unfriendly internal reprimand, I am just being trying to kind to myself and recognising that I when I can – I will and I do. There is no benefit in being the stick that beats me when I am already down.
So whilst I already know that the end of the week will be occupied with waiting room’s, heart scans and medical decisions. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that the beginning will be filled with art.